Nahed's Autobiography

Nahed’s Autobiography in brief

I grew up in a multi-religious village in the South of Lebanon. The church was next to our house, and we (me and my 5 siblings of a Muslim family) used to play around it or enter and pray inside with our Christian friends. When I was 3, the Lebanese civil war ignited and continued for 15 years, during which I witnessed the absurd meaning of wars and how it grinds people’s souls and plays with their fates meaninglessly. Each year at the beginning of the spring, we used to have clashes between the different parties: Muslims and Christians, Patriotic Front and “Eastern Beirut”, Palestinian refugees and some Lebanese parties, which concluded in fleeing to somewhere and not completing our scholar curriculum!! From Intermediate classes till the high school I didn’t finish one curriculum; but this wasn’t the thing that we suffered the most: we used to have electricity blackouts and study at the lantern’s light or wash our clothes by hand, we used to witness shortage in bread and stand in line for hours to bring one pack of bread, or water scarcity that forced us to be cautious to spend carefully…. I even had a friend who was shot by a sniper while she was going to school ,and survived personally many shootings and bombs miraculously. That was the life that I lived in my childhood and that shaped my character of a “serious girl” as my friends used to call me. In spite of this tough life, I was good at school and I had a dream to have an important career to be able to compensate my lost childhood. That’s why education was the main and only goal, which made me neglect any other aspect in my life. Focusing on my goal, I was always good at school and amongst the first three in class throughout my entire education, thus I got a grant to go to France to specialize in Plant Protection and get the diploma of Agriculture Engineer. France was a dream to me that I worked hard to make happen, since earning the grant was up to a competition with my colleagues at the Agricultural Faculty, and only the top five students were able to earn this grant. The year that I spent in Bordeaux (southern west of France) was compensating in many ways: there, I saw how an unbroken country looks like, people who can enjoy life fearlessly, teenagers who had hobbies that I didn’t have chance to have or to enjoy; there I had life, normal life… for a while. Though, when I returned to Lebanon, I realized how deep I missed it despite all the suffering I went through from the all the unfulfilled needs and desires it caused me. There was something special about Lebanon that doesn’t exist in other countries, whether they were western or oriental: Lebanon gathers the liberty and modernity of the west with the warmth and traditions of the orient.

Pic. 1: My Prayer Rug, my Agricultural Engineering Diploma, my Family in my Laptop's background, and a Red Apple (warmth and passion of the orient)

So I started working as an agricultural engineer first for a local agricultural company, then I started my own business with a colleague who became my best friend. We named our company “Eden for Agriculture” to make it sound like our work turns the fields into gardens of Eden. But this didn’t happen: farmers who didn’t believe in engineers, especially “female” ones, made our lives like in “hell”!! And instead of having business that earns me money, I had to invest in it and keep losing my earnings for its sake. So I decided after ten years to go back to the university and take a master degree in Environmental Engineering, which opened me new horizons, and that was a turning point in my life. With this new major in my hand, I had the opportunity to work with local and international organizations and in the Tyre Coast Nature Reserve (TCNR) as an environmental expert. I dare to pretend that the true professionalism I experienced was in the Environmental field, not the Agricultural one. Besides, I was earning money for the first time in my life, not losing it! Moreover, when you work in a nature reserve and you understand the danger the entire world is facing from the deterioration of the natural resources and pollution, you don’t keep considering your work a “job” but a “cause”. And when you work for a cause that you believe in, your work becomes your hobbies and the beating life, it gives you the feeling that you’re living for something worth living for and that you’re contributing to something useful for the mankind and its future; and this by its turn gives color and taste to your life .

On the other hand, my work in the environmental field, especially in the protection of endangered species, made me appreciate life more than ever and understand it from another perspective, the religious one: I became a true practitioner of Islam and I started praying and thanking God for all the gifts he’s given us. With Environment, I could see the extraordinary balance God created the world with, and how we the humans are interfering with it and ruining it because of our ignorance and greed.

Pic. 2: My both Religious (Rug) and Scientific (Diploma) Backgrounds (my tools for the service of Nature and Society) of my Working tool (Laptop)

Having my masters degree didn’t only benefit me in work and personal life, but it also gave me the chance to apply for a grant to continue my PhD in the USA in the field that I learned about and liked during my work with the international organizations: Sustainable Development. Amazingly, I was granted the Fulbright grant amongst 40 persons worldwide! It took me one year of preparation to get all the needed papers done to go to the USA, and I will start my study at Iowa State University the beginning of August 2010 for 3 years.

Now at the age of 38, I feel like a teenager in my enthusiasm to life in general and in keeping studying till the upmost degree I can make, and like an 80 years old woman with the events that I experienced during my intense life so far. But one thing characterizes me the most: I keep looking forward and seeing the full part of the glass, all along with learning from the tiniest creatures or the biggest events in life.

Pic. 3: My Rug, Diploma, Laptop, Soft Music CDs and an Apple (my heart at the picture's heart)